Daughter of Darkness
by Areie
Summary: Sonja's thoughts before she is executed.Everyone has a choice, and hers is death.One-off look into Sonja's mind. R


**Author's Note: Disclaimer: I do not own Underworld, Viktor, Sonja, Lucian, Kraven or any other related doo-dahs.  
****I _do_ own Janine, Winona, Ymogen and any other characters who aren't in the film.**

**This is my first fan fiction; it's a one-off look at Sonja and her relationships with her family, mainly her father Viktor and husband Lucian. It's told from Sonja's perspective and takes place about 600 years before Underworld, shortly after she has been sentenced to death and just before the sentence is actually carried out.  
****Read and review, but please be nice! This is my first fic.  
****Italics are flashbacks**.

* * *

My name is Sonja, and I am the daughter of darkness.

I am the Vampire daughter of Viktor and Janine, the younger sister of Winona and Ymogen...and now, bride of Lucian.

Bride of a Lycan, bride of filth, wedded to a slave. That is what they say about me, that is what my own father said of my husband, my Lucian, and his son-in-law, though Father will not acknowledge the bond. I don't care what the others say of me, but I cannot stand the insults to Lucian, the savage words that make me sick to my stomach. They blame him, the Council do. They blame him for '' tempting '' me, and ''leading me astray''. They cannot see, I love him. I love him.

I think back, to when I was a small child. I was the naughty one, the reckless one, the one who always disregarded the warnings, and got into trouble because of it. And I always asked the wrong questions.

_"Why can't I play with them, Papa?" I asked, looking at my father innocently, and pointing at the Lycan children my own age, playing in the autumn leaves. _

_He sighed, and frowned down at me. "Because they're Lycans, Sonja. And you're a Vampire."_

_I didn't understand. "But I like them, Papa," I protested. "They make me laugh. They're more fun than the Vampires. I like them."_

_One of the children, Essie, looked over. My father gave her a killer glare. Essie turned away, frightened. Father looked back at me. "You can't be friends with Lycans, Sonja. You're better than that." I was still confused. I was a very young child, and didn't yet understand the nature of the conflict between Vampire and Lycan. All I knew was my father had scared one of my friends._

_My father saw the bemused look on my face. "They're our slaves, sweetheart. We're different from them." he put his hand on my cheek, and said gently, "It's meant to be that way. You'll understand when you're older."_

_Then he looked across at the small Lycan children. Immediately his blue-grey eyes turned icy cold. He stood up, and glared at them. They quailed under his intense gaze. "Don't you Lycans have somewhere to be?" he said coldly. My friends bowed swiftly, and then bolted like rabbits. Like the frightened rabbits we hunted for food._

_Father looked at me and smiled._

I never understood why our people are so cruel to the Lycans, and I never will. I can never understand why the Council is so obsessed with keeping our races apart. Even to the point of ordering my...my death.

They say that it's unnatural for a Lycan and a Vampire to mate. But for me, it's the most natural thing in the world to love Lucian. It's as natural as breathing, as sleeping, as blinking. I only wish that my father could see it like I do. I wish he could see that it is my choice to wed a Lycan, to wed a Lycan and choose death rather than betray myself, instead of to wed a Vampire and choose life over my feelings.

Father is the one person who could convince the Council to spare me, who could overturn their decision and lift my sentence. He could save me, Father could, he is the one and the only person who could save me, and yet he won't.

He won't save his own flesh and blood.

I hate him for that.

_I stood tall, with my head held up high, in the cold marble Council chamber. I refused to let my fear show on my face. Despite how hard I tried to fight it down and tell myself I didn't care what they did to me, I was nearly consumed with terror._

_Ilania, the most beautiful Council member, read the charges against me._

"_Sonja, daughter of Viktor and Janine, you stand accused of breaking the Covenant, knowingly and of your own free will. You are accused of consorting with a Lycan, marrying a Lycan, and conceiving and carrying a hybrid child, thereby breaking the Edict and most fundamental rules of the Vampire Covenant._

"_How do you plead?"_

_I swallowed, but held my chin up and answered defiantly, "I have done nothing wrong."_

_She frowned. "Guilty or not guilty?"_

"_I have committed no crime," I said stubbornly, meeting her eyes. What I said is true. It is no crime to simply be with the one you love, and carry his child. _

"_This is ridiculous," Kraven said angrily. "She obviously isn't going to plead either way. Just take it as a 'not guilty' and let's get on with it."_

_The Council members looked at each other. No one raised an objection._

"_The punishment," Thierry said, "for breaking the Covenant is banishment. However, I feel that the breaking of the Edict merits more…severe action. Agreed?"_

_Impossible! They were going to kill me!_

"_Agreed." The murmur ran around the Council. Still there was no protest, not from gentle Amber, nor even Father. He sat upright, unashamed; his grey eyes decisive and gaunt face proud. I looked hard at him, yet he would not turn to meet my gaze._

"_Papa!" I called, my voice louder and shriller than I intended. "Papa!"_

_Finally, he turned to actually look me in the eyes. Evenly, he said, "The punishment must fit the offence, girl."_

_I bristled. He would not even name me, his own daughter. "I committed no offence, Papa!" I cried, and even I could hear the hysterical edge in my voice. "Papa, you cannot do this! You can't let them do this! I did nothing wrong, Papa, you cannot kill my child-"_

"_The child of Lycan filth!" Father spat, to my face. To my face. How dare he!_

"_Your _grandchild_!" I practically screamed. "You can say what you want, do what you like, Papa, but you are my father, and so you remain. I am still your daughter!"_

"_You are no daughter of mine," Father hissed, enraged. At that simple, vitriolic statement, I nearly collapsed. How could he say that? Still he continued, "And you are no one to dictate what the Council can and cannot do. You are a blood traitor, and you must die like one, along with that Lycan vermin you are wedded to!"_

_No. Not Lucian. Anyone but my Lucian. I chose him, I love him. "No, Papa," I said, in a voice of deadly, desperate calm. "Not Lucian. Don't you hurt him. Don't you dare! I don't care if you kill me, I don't care what you do to me, but spare him. If there was ever any love between us, Pater," I said, using my childhood pet name for Father, "then spare his life. Please," I whispered, and felt an icy tear slide down my cheek._

_Father's stony gaze wavered for an instant, and then he turned away._

For a long time, I was proud of my father. I idolized him. I thought he was the noblest, strongest Vampire in the world. I knew he loved me, or at least I thought I did, and I believed he would do anything for my sisters and me. For the longest time, I believed Father would always love me, no matter what.

How wrong I was. How innocent, how naïve to think that the cold Lord of the Vampires would love me more than a humble Lycan servant could. How stupid to believe that blood could be thicker than water.

They say that I brought this on myself, and in one sense they are right. I chose this. I chose Lucian, knowing full well what my choice would bring on me. I knew, and I accepted that our union could well cause my death. It was a price worth paying to be with my beloved Lucian, and for me, a small price compared to betraying myself.

Everyone has a choice, and I chose death. I chose love. I chose Lucian. I chose the truth.

And in doing that, I lost my father's love. I lost my mother's affection, and my sisters' friendship. I lost the chance of a future seat on the Council. I lost the respect of the coven. I lost everything it is possible to lose, with one exception. The most important thing, I still retain.

I have not lost my husband. I still have my Lucian, and he still has me. I still have his love, and I know I always will have. This time, I am sure. I know it in my heart. I saw it in his eyes when Father discovered us.

_I wrapped my arms around Lucian's strong body. I inhaled his soft scent, and felt his silky dark hair. He caressed my cheek, stroked my long blonde waves of hair, and gently brushed his lips against mine._

"_I love you," he whispered huskily. "I love you, Sonja." Every time he says that to me, it is as good as the first time. I still feel the same way as I did the first time he murmured that to me._

_I kissed him again and again, deeper each time. Then I broke off. "Lucian, I have to tell you this now," I said softly._

"_What?" he asked, his round eyes concerned. "What is it?"_

_I moved his hand from my neck to my abdomen. "I'm pregnant, sweetheart. I'm having our child."_

_He didn't reply, but his eyes were full of mingled joy, and fear for me, and sorrow and utter love. Slowly, gently, he kissed me again._

_Then, to my horror, I heard the click of my bedroom door opening, and someone walking in. I caught a glimpse of blond hair, a crimson cape over a tall, gaunt frame, and sallow skin before Lucian grabbed my arms, and spun me round behind him, shielding me with his body. But that brief glimpse was enough for me to be sure. It was Father._

"_Let go of my daughter." His voice was as hard and cold as steel. I felt Lucian adopt a protective stance in front of me, arching his back and making claws of his fingers on the hand that was not holding me back. With one swift movement, Father stepped forwards, seized Lucian's free arm at the bicep, and threw him to one side. Lucian hit the wall and landed in a heap. Father turned to me, and held my chin in his hand. "What has he done to you, my child?" he said softly._

_I broke away from his gaze. "He did nothing, Papa. He did nothing." Father's eyes were confused. I swallowed. "I love him, Papa." I whispered._

"_What?!" Father exploded. He shook me, none too gently. I shrank back from him, quivering. That was, apparently, too much for Lucian. He leapt up, and pulled Father's hand from my chin._

"_Leave her alone!" Lucian protested angrily. Father's face was black with rage. He bared his teeth and hissed, then drew back his fist and backhanded Lucian straight across the face. He was thrown backwards, and five scarlet lines were drawn down his beautiful cheek._

_I screamed, "No, Papa! Don't hurt him!" I ducked under my father's arm, and dived to kneel at Lucian's side. He was bleeding from the nose and mouth, and the savage scratches along his face._

"_Sonja, end this," Father almost begged me. "Stop this nonsense, forsake this so-called love, and all will be forgiven." He looked contemptuously at Lucian. "Forget this Lycan scum."_

_I looked at Lucian. I saw the overwhelming love in his eyes. I looked at Father, and saw the anger and hatred in _his_ eyes. "I love him," I said in a broken voice._

"_So be it," my father snarled. "So be it."_

I hate him. I hate my father, Lord Viktor of the Vampire Coven. He is the one who might save me, but refuses to do so for fear of the child I carry.

He will kill his daughter and grandchild to prevent the birth of a hybrid. He is so focused, so in control, so calculating, he has forgotten feelings. He has forgotten the pure power of undying love.

Is that what it means to be a Vampire? If I could choose, now, locked in this darkened room, awaiting my execution, I would be Lycan, and thus free to love the man I love. But that is not possible. That is wishful thinking. And whatever else I may be, an emotional fool, a sentimental idiot, a "blood traitor" to use that particular phrase of Father's, I am a realist.

I know what will happen, and it will happen soon. I will be chained to a stake, and Lucian to the floor where they interrogate criminals. Then that snake Sawm will flay Lucian with his silver whips. And then…then they will burn me alive in the cruel light of the sun.

All that is as it must be, and it could not be another way. I will let it pass, and I must try to be brave, for Lucian's sake. But I could not change my fate in any way in Heaven or Hell.

Because I have made my choice. Everyone has a choice, and mine is the hard choice, and the hard way. The way of pain and death and shame. And still, the way of love. For me, there is no other way. There has never been, not since I was a small infant, wondering why I was not allowed to play with the Lycans.

I committed the ultimate, unforgivable crime. I dared to love, and for that, I must pay with my life.


End file.
